So, yesterday, my Dad brought me home a flyer about a multi-stake singles' dance yesterday. On the top was all of the typical information, regarding time, place, etc. However, the amusing apart was the small print at the bottom:
"Dress: Since Brothers will be coming from LDS General Conference Priesthood and will be in Sunday Dress, we suggest everyone attend in Sunday Dress. However, dress is officially "Dressy/Casual". You can wear jeans but please remember that LDS standards of dress and conduct apply. No hats, shorts, grubbies or immodest clothing in length, style and fit. Attire must cover shoulders, chest and mid-drift to below the knee. Dresses should not lift or rise above the knees when dancing or twirling. No alcohol, same sex dancing, unkind or indecent behavior, piercing except for ladies earrings. All divorces must be final. Best dress suggested; clothing should be neat, clean and cover garment lines."
While I do have to applaud the author for their use of the word, "however" I think they went a bit overboard with the instructions.
They should have also added the following disclaimers: "Dance only with those within 15 years of your own age. Not responsible for the reactions of those in attendance. Shmoopy couples may induce vomiting. Please eat accordingly before the dance. Should you have any questions, please consult the manual immediately. This dance is not for everyone and those who are nursing or pregnant should consult their bishop before attending. Side effects include cynicism, spinsterhood, and in rare cases marriage. Organizers of this dance are not responsible for any bad experiences, but do claim credit for any marriages that occur as a result of attending this dance. "
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6 comments:
I needed a good laugh. Thank you!
Very Scary! Do they really have to specify that divorces should be final. I think you should add no toupees
Are you going to go so you can meet some fully-divorced men in Sunday dress?
Bee--You're Welcome
Steph--Yes, they do have to specify
MBC--Only if you are. It's in Orem.
Much as I think a dance in Orem would be great blog fodder . . .
I'd be happy to accompany you somewhere that might actually be enjoyable in Orem this weekend, though. Like Pizzeria 712.
Alas, I won't be in Orem this weekend. I only made my offer, as I knew you would not go :). I would, however, be happy to go somewhere else with you on a different weekend.
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