Friday, July 25, 2008

I Laugh in the Face of Danger!

I just read an article that told me that my life may end in early demise, due to things in my house. There is a list of 10 common household items that may be dangerous. Here they are:

1. Mothballs--Whew! I don't use these because I'm too lazy, so I just let the moths eat holes in my clothes--oh wait, they are all over the place in my Grandma's house that I live in. Check.
2. Pesticides--I don't use pesticides, I just kill the bugs with my hand, shoe, or whatever heavy item is handy. Safe.
3. Pressed Wood Products--Darn it! I look at pressed wood paneling as I sit typing this. Also, all of my high-quality furniture is made of pressed wood. I may have to get another furniture supplier. Check.
4. Carpet--The article refers to new carpet. Thankfully, there has been new carpet in the house I live in for 40 years. Carpet was made better back in the day and lasted longer. Safe.
5. Laser Printers--Uh-oh. I've used laser printers since they came out. In fact, there is even a color laser printer at my house. I wonder if color laser printers give off nastier things than black and white ones.
6. Lead Paint--Check. I was born in the seventies. Duh!
7. Air Fresheners & Cleaning Solutions--I try my hardest not to clean, so that keeps those chemicals at a minimum. I don't know an air freshener strong enough to override the smell of manure, so there is no use in trying. Safe.
8. Baby Bottles--No babies now or in the near-future; however, my bottles were probably toxic, but I'm not dead yet. Check.
9. Flame Retardant. I don't own any, so I may die in a fire, but the retardant won't kill me.
10. Cosmetics. I almost never wear makeup anymore, today being an exception. The people that come into my office smell of manure and have manure on their clothes, so I consider that I look and smell better than them if I shower occasionally. Safish.

Am I going to change my ways because of this report. Not really. Will I continue using all of this cancer causing, death inducing items. Probably. Such is life. The replacements for the items probably will be found to have different death-causing tendencies, so what's the use. I'll be happy and enjoy my life full of printers, pressed-wood products, and lead-based paint.


Marissa said...

Haha. Who knew you led such a dangerous life? You wild child. . .

Alice said...

Ah...a breath of fresh air knowing their are still small town joys going on. Sorry for the feelings of guilt...but wait, you didn't have to have feeling of guilt because you recently updated. Timing is beautiful sometimes.