Yes, I'm scared of my cat.

Every night, as I walk through the door from work, I am met by 2 dogs and 2 cats. It's not because I give them lots and lots of attention. They meet me for other reasons. The cats meow and the dogs talk for the next 15-20 minutes, letting me know that it is time to be fed. I let the dogs and one of the cats into the garage where I feed them in the following order: The cat (Callie)is fed dry food on top of the cupboard, so the dogs don't eat her food. Oscar is fed one scoop of dog food next because food is, arguably, the most important thing in his life. That and he will take the bowl from Zephyr if you feed Zephyr first. So, whether or not he is given food first, he eats the first bowl of food. Zephyr then gets a scoop on the side of the garage with no cars. This is because he picks up his bowl and moves it so that Oscar won't eat it, and he frequently leaves the bowl behind my car tires if he is fed on the side of the garage with the cars. Next, Oscar gets another half scoop--partially because he is bigger, but mostly because he tends to have bad food manners and has been known to steal the roast off the of the table or the beef jerky off of the radio. He knows he shouldn't do this, but he just loves his food too much. Thus, usually we remember to keep meat, cheese, and applesauce products in the middle of the table and not close to the edges.

Finally, I go back in the house and feed Tabitha (the other cat) on top of the terrarium. Again, so the dogs don't get her food. She gets a can of cat food of the poultry or beef variety. Why the canned? Because she bites me if she only gets dry food. Why the poultry or beef variety? Because she bites me if it is fish. If I don't feed her when she wants on weekends, you guessed it, she bites me. Don't worry, she always licks me before she bites because she is very particular about cleanliness and having a clean surface to bite.

I realize that this isn't logical to let her bite me since she is seven pounds and I am............a whole lot more than seven pounds, but apparently I'm scared of my cat because I keep letting her use her mind control powers to get me to feed her what she wants. I guess she does own me.

The return of the lazy blogger

Dear all 5 blog readers, I have decided to create a new blog post, so as not to be outdone by Roo. You really should read her latest blog post about Dieter Dolls here.

Life has been going on slowly, but surely. I've actually had some energy lately, so I've finished several craft projects, some of which I may someday post a picture of if I remember. I've also accomplished several things at work that I have successfully postponed for months.

The Wii Saga
In my new purchases news, I bought a Wii at the end of May; however, said Wii is still not hooked up. Why, you ask did I buy a Wii when my parents already have one next door. Because I'm fat and would like to be not so fat...and I get sick in the heat and the parents house isn't very cool. I am only allowed to exercise on my Wii, should it ever get hooked up. All fun games must be played at Ma and Pa's house (at least until I lose my resolve) Why isn't the Wii hooked up? It isn't that hard, you say. Let me share the saga. I go to hook up the Wii and discover that all of the working ports on my switch box are full. So, I go buy a newer, bigger, better switch box and go to hook it up, only to discover that the power strip is full. I buy an extension cord to run from another plug (so I don't blow a fuse). I go to plug in said extension cord and discover (remember) that I live in an old house and all of the plug-ins have two holes and not three. I go buy several adapters so that I can plug in my extension cord (and other things throughout the house. I think I am ready to go as soon as I figure out which outlets are on which circuits.

The Smells in my Life
Also, my house currently has a very funky smell that I cannot figure out. There are no dead vermin that I can find. I found a puddle of water in the kitchen, which may be the source of the stench, but have not yet figured out where it came from. I tried to open the fridge to see if a more horrific waft of putrid air of the same variety would assault my olfactory senses. (Loo and I are very practiced at identifying and producing smells in a fridge. Ma suggested that the puddle of water was something that got in the house and died and then liquified. I informed her that I would have noticed the smell earlier. So, I have spent the last night and probably tonight next door at Ma and Pa's house, avoiding the nasty smell at my house.

As for the good smell in my life, I picked up food from my new favorite drive-through in Delta, El Jaliciense and it smelled fabulous. The smell of the churros and the healthier food mixed together was almost more than I could handle on the drive home. I do have to say that Chewy made a good decision selling water stock to open the restaurant.

Social News
All I can say on this front is that yesterday when Ron P. came into the office, I requested that he bring me back a husband from Scotland, when he, his wife, son Doug, and daughter-in-law go across the pond this summer. Note to MBC: You may also try to find me a Scottish husband while you are traversing the British Isles. Irish, Welsh, and English candidates are also acceptable.

Have a lovely day and enjoy this post. At this rate, you won't see another post for a month or two.

All for Names & Names for All

Growing up, we always named the dogie calves that we bottle-fed. We named them after food (Choco, named by Da stood for chocolate-oreo), t.v. characters (Radar from MASH) Princess (nothing in particular), as well as colors (Orange Calf, Black Calf). We even had one named after another animal (Doggie, who acted strangely like a dog). We also named the problem cows, some were named #$@%&#!* and one was named Francois.

Apparently, this makes the family think, (me particularly) that many animals should be named. Ma named the peahens Mabel and Gladys. We don't know which is which, but it doesn't matter as they are never more than 10 feet apart and seem to share a brain. We have a hen that has taken up residence near our "gunk" or compost pile. I have creatively named her Compost Chicken.

I also give another name to general species (usually of the pest varieties). I have given all spiders the named of Fred, George, or Jorge. Loo and I have named all mice Hermie. This mouse "nickname" has caught on in the family with Pa, Eliza B. and Loo's husband all using the term "Hermie" to refer to mice. Perhaps naming the vermin makes me feel as if they aren't as truly gross and disturbing as I usually find them to be(mice are more disturbing than spiders, in my opinion). Or...perhaps it is so that I can live in denial that there are pests around (no, I'm not telling you how "around"), but that the pests are actually "friends" around and this is all just a mental game that I play with myself. You should be confused after the last sentence. At the very least, "naming" the pests gives me a name to shout when I see said critter. As in "HERRRRRRRRMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE! Get Away! I do not want to see you."

Now there is a squirrel in the garage stealing cat food and eating flowers off of plants (see Ma's post here. So, I have decided that it is now necessary to give the squirrel species a "name". Now, I ask you blog readers to help out by suggesting nicknames. Here are the rules:
1. Leave a nickname suggestion in the comment section.
2. All names must be male nicknames, because males (contrary to some media reports, and with the exception of seahorses) do not have babies that infest your space.
3. Name suggestions must be submitted by Sunday, June 14, 2009 by 11 p.m. MDT.
4. After the close of suggestions, a poll will be created, so that you in blogland (aka my family and a few friends) may vote.

Disclaimer: We may or may not use the nickname that is chosen.

Moving, Moving, Moving

I've changed my blog background, and I realize that the font is a little hard to read, but you'll just have to deal with it, so there.

We moved cattle today and it went very smoothly--only one cow jumped a fence. That is pretty darn good. We move them 1-2 miles and my job is to stop traffic at the south end, where the cows turn. I had 12 vehicles stopped on the highway on my end and Ma had seven or eight. "A" came down to help with the fun and learned how to wave her arms to scare cows. You may visit here blog here for more details and photos. You may also visit Ma's blog for a more detailed account.

Not too much has been going on in my life recently. A mouse had the nerve to get in my car and die. This is my second car, and a mouse has died in each one. I'd appreciate it if they would choose someone else's car to die in. However, the smell has finally dissipated, thank goodness. Dead mice are a hazard of living on a farm. Live ones, too, but I don't want to say that. Work continues onward and has been a bit busy for the last couple of days, but I've still had plenty of time to stay up on my T.V. shows via the Internet.

I'm excited for "So You Think You Can Dance" to start this next week. It is much better than American Idol, though I wonder what MBC will do when she is in Europe for the summer. Guess she'll just have to watch them on YouTube.

Well, that's all the fun for today. I hope all you family members participated in our 1K walk today, so that you earned your participation prizes.

Do Peacocks Poop in Apostrophes?

This morning as I was walking outside, I noticed that the peahens had pooped on Ma & Pa's porch and sidewalk. I also noticed that each of these poop spots were in the shape of apostrophes. I was going to take a picture to share, but Pa cleaned it up before I got my camera out. So, that brings up the questions, "Do Peacocks Poop in Apostrophes or Commas?" I'm voting for apostrophes because because it makes for better alliteration.

On to the NCAA championship game. UNC won, which I was not hoping for as I have very distinct prejudices against all North Carolina teams. This always hurts me in the brackets as I will almost always have them lose before the championship game. I would like to remind Loo and husband that they should not become fans of any NC team, even though they will be living in NC. I would like to remind her of a player that she referred to as a "cocky snot" that played for Duke, another NC team. I would like to amend my statement, allowing Loo to become a fan of small NC teams that are not well-known. In other words, underdogs that will never make it to the NCAA tourney.

I have created a poll so that you can vote on your reality shows. Why did I create this poll, you ask. I was bored, that's why. So you better all participate!

What are your favorite reality shows (Pick 2)
	Amazing Race
	Celebrity Apprentice
	Dancing with the Stars
	American Idol
	So You Think You Can Dance
	Survivor
	The Biggest Loser
	All Reality Shows are Stupid
	I like ones that are not listed above
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Miss Peacock in the Corn with a Friend

So, when I went over to my parents' house for breakfast this morning, FarmerBoy and S.Q. told me that there were two peacocks out by the shed. Of course, Mom and I had to go see for ourselves. Indeed there were two peacocks out by the shed, standing near the corn. Why and how, you ask. I don't know. We suspect that someone had seen FarmerBoy's happy, free-range chickens wandering around and decided that it would be a good place for peacocks to live out their lives. We've had dogs dropped off at our house before. In fact, that is how we acquired most of the dogs we've had. We don't know if the peacocks are hens or immature males. They do not have the colorful tail feathers that peacocks are known for, though they do have a plume on the top of their heads. If the peacocks stay around, we will have to come up with names for them. Well, I'm off to look up peacock facts.

I Laugh in the Face of Danger!

I just read an article that told me that my life may end in early demise, due to things in my house. There is a list of 10 common household items that may be dangerous. Here they are:

1. Mothballs--Whew! I don't use these because I'm too lazy, so I just let the moths eat holes in my clothes--oh wait, they are all over the place in my Grandma's house that I live in. Check.
2. Pesticides--I don't use pesticides, I just kill the bugs with my hand, shoe, or whatever heavy item is handy. Safe.
3. Pressed Wood Products--Darn it! I look at pressed wood paneling as I sit typing this. Also, all of my high-quality furniture is made of pressed wood. I may have to get another furniture supplier. Check.
4. Carpet--The article refers to new carpet. Thankfully, there has been new carpet in the house I live in for 40 years. Carpet was made better back in the day and lasted longer. Safe.
5. Laser Printers--Uh-oh. I've used laser printers since they came out. In fact, there is even a color laser printer at my house. I wonder if color laser printers give off nastier things than black and white ones.
6. Lead Paint--Check. I was born in the seventies. Duh!
7. Air Fresheners & Cleaning Solutions--I try my hardest not to clean, so that keeps those chemicals at a minimum. I don't know an air freshener strong enough to override the smell of manure, so there is no use in trying. Safe.
8. Baby Bottles--No babies now or in the near-future; however, my bottles were probably toxic, but I'm not dead yet. Check.
9. Flame Retardant. I don't own any, so I may die in a fire, but the retardant won't kill me.
10. Cosmetics. I almost never wear makeup anymore, today being an exception. The people that come into my office smell of manure and have manure on their clothes, so I consider that I look and smell better than them if I shower occasionally. Safish.

Am I going to change my ways because of this report. Not really. Will I continue using all of this cancer causing, death inducing items. Probably. Such is life. The replacements for the items probably will be found to have different death-causing tendencies, so what's the use. I'll be happy and enjoy my life full of printers, pressed-wood products, and lead-based paint.

Living Dangerously

I recently acquired 2000 pre-stamped envelopes for the office, and have now used 28 of them, as well as 3 envelopes that were provided with the bills. What, you ask, does this have to do with living dangerously. I'll tell you. I LICKED them all myself. Yes, even though there is the e-mail out there touting the "fact" that cockroach eggs are found on envelopes and will embed themselves into your tongue and grow into very large cockroaches inside your mouth, I took the plunge and licked the envelopes--with my tongue, no less. I know that my courage astounds you. You may later see my photo attached to that e-mail.

In other news, my Mom and I were eating lunch in my office, when we saw movement in the form of a mouse. I tried to ignore it, but could not after seeing it several times. The mouse then had the gall to climb on top of my fridge and dig around in my emergency food supply. If we made noise, he would pop up his head and look at us as if we were friends calling "hello" to him. Mice are not my friends, as you may know from earlier posts. The solution to the problem--I dumped all emergency food in the trash and took it outside, and my Mom was kind enough to set a new mousetrap to catch this "un-friend", so that the food foraging would stop, though she did say that the dead mouse in the office (which I cannot find, but only smell) probably died from overeating. By the way, it was a deer mouse we saw, so I also live dangerously as Hanta virus comes from deer mice. Deer mice are different than the mice drawn in kindergarten classes. They have very distinct features and look like very intelligent creatures, who condescendingly look at you daring you to outsmart them.

Walking Pumpkins

I apologize for the blog in advance. I'm in a blah mood right now, so you'll get a blah blog. It's been awhile since I've posted. Friday night I went to the pumpkin walk in North Logan. It was pretty fun--one of those small town things that is slightly lame, but that is what makes it great. Yes, I realize that is contradictory. Anyway, I went with friends so we had a good time. I took pictures, but don't know if I'll get them posted.

Also, on Saturday Loo got the letter giving her fiancee' clearance for temple marriage. She is getting married two weeks from today, so I've been doing a few wedding things for her this week--ordered table runners and labeled envelopes. Hopefully, the invitations will get sent out before the wedding! I also brought some of my junk down from Loo's house.

Tomorrow I'll help clean her house and get some more of my stuff out of. Work has been pretty slow lately, as we are in the off-season.

In other news, I found a dead bird on my doorstep this morning. I think the birds are all plotting against me to die all around me. That's all for now, have a great weekend.

Country Critters--Installment 1

First off--Happy Birthday Da!
The cookie picture is for your birthday.

I told you that I'd post a picture of a silage bag, so here it is.
Photo #2 Silage Bags (corn post-chopping)
Photo #3 Corn (pre-chopping) with the Harvest Moon

Country Critter Incident #1
The flies have been annoying me all day to the point of insanity. Yes, I was raving like a lunatic at the flies. Anyway walking by would surely think that I was insane. I finally pulled out the fly swatter early in the day to kill a wasp--I try to keep a safe distance from the wasps, as we are not kindred spirits. I then proceeded to swat two more flies--one on the desk and another on a self-inking, rubber stamp, which takes a special talent. The flies kept landing on the computer screen, which is very, very annoying. I didn't want to swat the flies on the screen, for fear of causing irreparable damage to the screen, but it was just too much. I had to swat and bam! I'm 4 for 4. I think these mad fly-swatting skills come from the days when my mum paid us a penny for every two flies we swatted. Back to the present. I saw a smudge on the screen. Is it a crack? Did I cause indeed ruin the expensive screen before me?! Alas, it was only fly guts. One swipe with the fingernail and the bug guts are gone (Using the fingernail was the gross part of the process). There is still one pesky fly buzzing around the office, though. I will get him. Just watch out Mr. or Ms. Fly.

Country critter incident #2
Last week as I was walking the 7 feet from the office door to my car, I noticed that there were two birds (dead, of course) stuck in the grill of my car. I obviously hit them at some point. I solved the problem before me in my head--make my Pop or FarmerBoy remove them for me. Excellent solution, if I do say so myself. I proceeded to go get my lunch; however, I could not stop thinking of the birds in the grill and what people would think of me if I left them there. If I continued to drive around town, would I become known as the girl with the birds stuck in her car that leaves them there as if they are hood ornaments. I couldn't let this happen to me. I placed my lunch on my desk and proceeded to get grocery sacks from the back room. I knew there was a reason to save grocery sacks. Anyway, I digress. I flipped the bag inside out to grab the birds ( a technique taught to me by my mother as a method of rodent removal) and pulled one of the birds out quickly flipping the bag over, so that I didn't have to look at the poor dead bird whose life was abruptly ended as it flew over the highway. I threw this bird/sack in the dumpster and proceeded with the next bird. However, this bird was wedged in there tightly. Wow! I really must have hit that one at high speed. I didn't know if I would be able to remove it without some of its body parts becoming detached. Oooh, gross! I popped my hood to get better access. I pushed from both sides and finally removed the sad bird from my car, which I did without any gagging on my part.

I called Loo to tell her of my great conquests, as Pop and FarmerBoy would just make fun of me for being a woose. She was properly amazed by my great feat or at least she pretended to be.

P.S. The photos would be in a slide show, but I'm not that advanced, yet.